Life and its current condition

Mikelb · May 30th, 2007, 04:07 AM

I realize that this is a car forum, and I don't normally do this. I don't really know why I'm typing this: whether I'm asking for advice, venting, or just hoping to write this out and look at it on paper.

Well, here goes nothing...

I'm in a pretty fugged up situation. What's worse, is I put myself here. I have a beautiful daughter, one that I'd lay down my life for.

I have an ex(Taylor's mom), that I had a one-sided relationship with. I gave everything in that relationship to be a good man to her. I laid down over and over, to make her happy. I finally realized how messed up the situation was, and left her. Then about 2 weeks later, I found out she was pregnant. I then got back with her and went to counseling. What really pissed me off is, I paid a guy $100/hr to tell her the same things I had been telling her for a long time. Now, I wasn't giving it any real effort at this point, but she never attempted to change things. I moved her out of my house. I did what I needed to to make sure she had what she needed.

I then got myself involved in another relationship. This relationship was pretty good. Has been for four months...
I am now struggling to handle this relationship (not that it's bad), we're both going in seperate directions. I'm also stuck in a pretty much dead-end job. I have job security, and pretty decent pay where I'm at; but in honesty, I don't like it. I have the opportunity to go to the local community college for 3 semesters and have a certificate in Automotive Service.

Now, my ex has made great progress from where she was last year. I just doubt her sincerity, b/c she'd always make temporary changes to get me back and go back to where she was. This time, we have a daughter, and she has HAD to do things on her own for awhile. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Now, I have been making preperations to get my Talon back together and go to college. These preperations include (H, lol, j/k) selling my BMW, and talking to admissions counselors. I have also set aside some money to fix up my Talon. I am in the process of catching up my bills, though my best friend (for 13+ years) is my roommate. He found himself out of a job earlier this year, and I was buying him some time to pay off his debts. As of June 1, he will owe me $475+ for rent/lights... He hasn't paid a thing in the last three months...

Now, my ex sent my daughter to her sister in VA for a week (really pissed me off, but that's a different story). This has given me plenty of time to sit here and think about all of this. I'm really depressed, and I've been helping friends move this weekend. I also went to Lake Royale, and the boating/tubing kicked my ass. I'm bruised up and sore, and my JRA hasn't allowed me to get a good amount of sleep (2hr one night)... I've been drinking the last few nights to try and sleep, but I'm so f'in sore and lost in all of this... (sorry if none of this makes sense, I've had a few beers, and am in the process of clearing my mind to try and sleep)...

(I'll edit this in the morning if I need to).

-Mikelb

P.S.- I finally figured out how to setup the Internet on the Samsung Blackjack, so I have Internet here at the house again.

bigjon · May 30th, 2007, 05:20 AM

man, that sucks. i really feel for you.

throwing a great kid in the mix can make an easy decision very hard. if you ever want to talk, i'll pm you my number. i am a real good listener.

[ps] i only edited a naughty word-for our sensitive viewers.

Mikelb · May 30th, 2007, 01:56 PM

That's cool man, I do apologize if I offended anyone... I had a few beers, and I'm still hurtin' this morn.

I'm really sore, and this stuff isn't very forgiving.

I have kinda figured out that I'm breakin' it off with this girl I'm with right now.

I also forgot to mention that my ex's parents are pushing her to take me to court (custody) and to get child support. We have a 50/50 (I actually have Taylor more) and she'd have to prove me unfit to get custody, but I don't have the kind of money I used to have, so I don't want this to go to court.

I have enough case precedents with me, and enough info on my ex, to mop the courtroom with her. Though that's not where I want this to end up. I'm also about to lose a large chunk of change when I go back to college.

My ex has offered to go to counseling (again) and pay for it. I agreed, even if we don't get back together, maybe I can get her some help, or teach her how to work WITH me for Taylor's benefit.

bigjon · June 3rd, 2007, 04:42 AM

i don't know, she may be too far gone.

trick-r-treat · June 4th, 2007, 03:44 AM

That's kind of what I'm thinking, too. I can understand you wanting to be with the ex for the child's sake, but I don't know if that is a good idea.

Mikelb · June 4th, 2007, 02:11 PM

Yeah, I've kinda made a decision... I don't think I'm going to be with her... I've had a lot of revelations over the weekend...

I have still agreed to go to counseling though. That should be beneficial, or at least give me even more help if/when we end up in court. (she's paying this time

)

I don't think that I'm staying with my current g/f though. I'm getting pulled in a different direction than her... it seems that we both have a similar opinion on splitting/handling things. We have still agreed to be friends, and maintain that.

I'm still just hanging in day by day though.

bigjon · June 6th, 2007, 01:15 AM

hang in there good buddy!

Mikelb · June 6th, 2007, 02:03 PM

I've got another 50-60(more or less) years ahead of me, I'm not going to give up because of her...

I missed my daughter so much, it feels great to have her back.

moonmagick · June 10th, 2007, 05:51 AM

I hope it all works out well for you. Sometimes life can throw you some nasty curveballs. I can say that 2 bad marriages later. Letting go of someone you are growing away from is so much easier when there isnt a legal document tying them to you.

I, Brian · June 13th, 2007, 08:10 PM

Hey, hope everything works out Mike - times like this are always tough, but if you put your head down and just do what seems right, after a while you can raise your head again and find yourself looking at a much better situation.

Would advise against drink for sleep, though - seem to recall it can make sleep lighter (less REM which is needed for really restful) leaving you feeling tired and as if you've actually slept less, if not careful.

May 30th, 2007, 04:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
Mikelb Adequate Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Rocky Mount, NC Posts: 773	Life and its current condition I realize that this is a car forum, and I don't normally do this. I don't really know why I'm typing this: whether I'm asking for advice, venting, or just hoping to write this out and look at it on paper. Well, here goes nothing... I'm in a pretty fugged up situation. What's worse, is I put myself here. I have a beautiful daughter, one that I'd lay down my life for. I have an ex(Taylor's mom), that I had a one-sided relationship with. I gave everything in that relationship to be a good man to her. I laid down over and over, to make her happy. I finally realized how messed up the situation was, and left her. Then about 2 weeks later, I found out she was pregnant. I then got back with her and went to counseling. What really pissed me off is, I paid a guy $100/hr to tell her the same things I had been telling her for a long time. Now, I wasn't giving it any real effort at this point, but she never attempted to change things. I moved her out of my house. I did what I needed to to make sure she had what she needed. I then got myself involved in another relationship. This relationship was pretty good. Has been for four months... I am now struggling to handle this relationship (not that it's bad), we're both going in seperate directions. I'm also stuck in a pretty much dead-end job. I have job security, and pretty decent pay where I'm at; but in honesty, I don't like it. I have the opportunity to go to the local community college for 3 semesters and have a certificate in Automotive Service. Now, my ex has made great progress from where she was last year. I just doubt her sincerity, b/c she'd always make temporary changes to get me back and go back to where she was. This time, we have a daughter, and she has HAD to do things on her own for awhile. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Now, I have been making preperations to get my Talon back together and go to college. These preperations include (H, lol, j/k) selling my BMW, and talking to admissions counselors. I have also set aside some money to fix up my Talon. I am in the process of catching up my bills, though my best friend (for 13+ years) is my roommate. He found himself out of a job earlier this year, and I was buying him some time to pay off his debts. As of June 1, he will owe me $475+ for rent/lights... He hasn't paid a thing in the last three months... Now, my ex sent my daughter to her sister in VA for a week (really pissed me off, but that's a different story). This has given me plenty of time to sit here and think about all of this. I'm really depressed, and I've been helping friends move this weekend. I also went to Lake Royale, and the boating/tubing kicked my ass. I'm bruised up and sore, and my JRA hasn't allowed me to get a good amount of sleep (2hr one night)... I've been drinking the last few nights to try and sleep, but I'm so f'in sore and lost in all of this... (sorry if none of this makes sense, I've had a few beers, and am in the process of clearing my mind to try and sleep)... (I'll edit this in the morning if I need to). -Mikelb P.S.- I finally figured out how to setup the Internet on the Samsung Blackjack, so I have Internet here at the house again. __________________ -Tuner by Desire, Racer at Heart- 1991 Eagle Talon Tsi and it's fast Last edited by bigjon; May 30th, 2007 at 05:18 AM.

May 30th, 2007, 05:20 AM	#2 (permalink)
bigjon Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 904	Re: Life and its current condition man, that sucks. i really feel for you. throwing a great kid in the mix can make an easy decision very hard. if you ever want to talk, i'll pm you my number. i am a real good listener. [ps] i only edited a naughty word-for our sensitive viewers. __________________ 2000 HPP Mods

May 30th, 2007, 01:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mikelb Adequate Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Rocky Mount, NC Posts: 773	Re: Life and its current condition That's cool man, I do apologize if I offended anyone... I had a few beers, and I'm still hurtin' this morn. I'm really sore, and this stuff isn't very forgiving. I have kinda figured out that I'm breakin' it off with this girl I'm with right now. I also forgot to mention that my ex's parents are pushing her to take me to court (custody) and to get child support. We have a 50/50 (I actually have Taylor more) and she'd have to prove me unfit to get custody, but I don't have the kind of money I used to have, so I don't want this to go to court. I have enough case precedents with me, and enough info on my ex, to mop the courtroom with her. Though that's not where I want this to end up. I'm also about to lose a large chunk of change when I go back to college. My ex has offered to go to counseling (again) and pay for it. I agreed, even if we don't get back together, maybe I can get her some help, or teach her how to work WITH me for Taylor's benefit. __________________ -Tuner by Desire, Racer at Heart- 1991 Eagle Talon Tsi and it's fast

June 3rd, 2007, 04:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
bigjon Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 904	Re: Life and its current condition i don't know, she may be too far gone. __________________ 2000 HPP Mods

June 4th, 2007, 03:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
trick-r-treat Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 102	Re: Life and its current condition That's kind of what I'm thinking, too. I can understand you wanting to be with the ex for the child's sake, but I don't know if that is a good idea.

June 4th, 2007, 02:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
Mikelb Adequate Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Rocky Mount, NC Posts: 773	Re: Life and its current condition Yeah, I've kinda made a decision... I don't think I'm going to be with her... I've had a lot of revelations over the weekend... I have still agreed to go to counseling though. That should be beneficial, or at least give me even more help if/when we end up in court. (she's paying this time ) I don't think that I'm staying with my current g/f though. I'm getting pulled in a different direction than her... it seems that we both have a similar opinion on splitting/handling things. We have still agreed to be friends, and maintain that. I'm still just hanging in day by day though. __________________ -Tuner by Desire, Racer at Heart- 1991 Eagle Talon Tsi and it's fast

June 6th, 2007, 01:15 AM	#7 (permalink)
bigjon Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 904	Re: Life and its current condition hang in there good buddy! __________________ 2000 HPP Mods

June 6th, 2007, 02:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
Mikelb Adequate Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Rocky Mount, NC Posts: 773	Re: Life and its current condition I've got another 50-60(more or less) years ahead of me, I'm not going to give up because of her... I missed my daughter so much, it feels great to have her back. __________________ -Tuner by Desire, Racer at Heart- 1991 Eagle Talon Tsi and it's fast

June 10th, 2007, 05:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
moonmagick Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 66	Re: Life and its current condition I hope it all works out well for you. Sometimes life can throw you some nasty curveballs. I can say that 2 bad marriages later. Letting go of someone you are growing away from is so much easier when there isnt a legal document tying them to you.

June 13th, 2007, 08:10 PM	#10 (permalink)
I, Brian Administrator Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 165	Re: Life and its current condition Hey, hope everything works out Mike - times like this are always tough, but if you put your head down and just do what seems right, after a while you can raise your head again and find yourself looking at a much better situation. Would advise against drink for sleep, though - seem to recall it can make sleep lighter (less REM which is needed for really restful) leaving you feeling tired and as if you've actually slept less, if not careful.


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